Insufficiently Candid

Torture

2012-01-25T19:57:00.001-07:00

Captain Hook got this toy for Christmas:

He likes to keep the animals safely behind (under?) closed doors. Actually, a more apt description would be he needs to close them. It is an intense, driving need. Even now he is hurtling across the room at top crawl because he heard me open them up to take a picture. Sometimes he'll notice it during his play, and drop everything to ensure proper closure.

We like to play a game with him. He closes the doors and we pop them back open. He will play this game as long as it takes for us to get tired of it and leave them closed in peace. Quite the opposite of how most games with him end.

One of my favorite variations is when I let him get them all closed. He will look suspiciously at the toy and at me for a moment or two, then proceed to another toy. Just as he gets there I pop one open again.

I almost feel guilty, but so far he's always met the challenge with a smile.

Psychosomatic

2012-01-04T14:13:00.001-07:00

I'm currently working on a site for a zinc medicated soap company. Each of the skin diseases it is meant to treat has a section of the site, and today I'm writing the content for those pages. As I've been researching the symptoms of these various conditions, I've become very aware of a dreadful itch. All over. It has been a rather uncomfortable day.

The Art of Pictures

2011-09-25T17:36:00.002-06:00

So I really love art. Creating things gives me a particular thrill I can't compare to anything else. Most of my creativity through the years has been focused on music. I've pretty much always been doing something musical, and it's got me through the years quite nicely. My desire to create (along with my love of food) has also led me to cooking and baking (bread just came out of the oven!) and gardening. I've never been great at drawing, painting, or any of that, although I think I could be if I gave it adequate attention and practice, and it's one of the many things on my eventual to do list.

Recently I've rediscovered a love that I had only the briefest affair with: photography. I dabbled a little a few years ago, but never got much into it, mostly due to lack of equipment. The Mrs got me a much nicer camera a few months ago, and I immediately dove back in. Then I discovered Trey Ratcliff on Google+. It's amazing how seeing someone with passion and talent can inspire you to do more.

I have neither the time nor funds to make what I want of it (yet),but in my spare moments I've been experimenting, learning theory, and playing with free software. Those of you who are experienced, any recommendations for free software, tutorials, etc?

Here is a small sample of some of the stuff I've done. Hopefully I'll have more to share before long. Maybe even some music to go with it!

Addendum:
Eric Reeder just liked this on Facebook, calling to my attention that both times I have become involved with photography, he was part of the inspiration. The first time he had a picture of the old Kennecott refinery (or whatever it was) in Copperton, the subject of a recurring childhood nightmare, which is a story I'll tell another time. Here is Eric's website.

Worst Dressed Cities

2011-07-16T12:52:00.000-06:00

This week GQ.com released "The 40 Worst Dressed Cities in America." Being from Utah, I was amused by the presence of both Salt Lake(8) and Provo(15) on the list. As I suspected, they were over-generalized and religiously insensitive, but not entirely inaccurate. But while most of the article's sizable readership were busy being either offended or delighted by their city's ranking, it was the marketing aspect of the article that had me mesmerized.

First off, it's a great title. Sure it's not even the slightest bit creative, but it piques curiosity and has successfully collected countless clicks and links. Why? Because people love lists. They're easy to swallow, and face it, "The 10 Most Amazing Marsupials" sounds a lot more interesting than "About Australian Wildlife." Lists are so effective, sites like Cracked.com peddle them almost exclusively.

The other thing about a list like this is that it generally doesn't need to be supported by things like facts. They are often really op-ed pieces disguised as studies or polls. Such is the case with this one. They claim (most likely tongue in cheek) a "deeply scientific, irrefutable poll," but that is clearly not the case. It appears they just took a bunch of the biggest cities and found a trend they could generalize, then filled it in with a few smaller places containing an easy target. It's very likely in fact that a list of the best dressed cities would have looked largely the same.

For me, the credibility of the list was blown entirely by number 22: Wasilla, AK. Wasilla is undoubtedly dressed no better or worse than any of the thousands of other obscure small towns scattered across the country. The crucial difference is that their obscurity was lifted when Sarah Palin entered the political scene a few years back. Like the Provo section, it was all too transparent that this was a case of an easy target. In fact, the article didn't even try hide it: "Regardless of how you approach the style of the now-infamous Alaskan town of Wasilla, all you'll ever think about is Sarah and Todd and the whole Palin gang. And they are terrible."

I don't mean this as a defense of the Palins' style (I'm certainly not qualified as a fashion critic; just ask my wife) nor anything else about them. My only point here is that good marketing and good journalism aren't always the same thing. This piece of questionable journalism is also a piece of excellent marketing. What were they looking for? Readers. What did they get? Lots and lots of readers. As a bonus, many of those readers added comments or links from their own site. (There are four links there in this blog alone.) It was a perfectly executed marketing campaign, designed as a critique of America's style.

Sometimes the best way to attract attention is to break the rules. How else would Provo end up in a prestigious fashion magazine?

2011-06-29T10:23:00.001-06:00

So I just set up text message blogging. This could revolutionize my writing habits!

Paid for What?

2010-10-17T00:01:00.004-06:00

Let me tell you a little bit about my job.

I work in SEO. Search Engine Optimization. As simply as I can describe it, we help our client's sites appear higher in the search results, thus increasing their web traffic, and by extension their sales.

My office has 8 regular employees, and a number of intermittent visitors. There is never a dull moment. (Except that time when the other 7 of the 8 either took the day off or went to meetings and lunch.) We have a lot of fun. Need proof?

How's that for proof?

A few weeks ago one of the owners showed up with 8 NERF guns. We had a war.

As if my job wasn't cool enough already, now they are paying me extra to write articles for one of the clients. I almost don't believe it. It's almost as good as being paid to have a NERF war.

Then today a friend called and told me he's been offered a regular paying gig, and wondered if I'd like to join him from time to time and make a few extra bucks. It's like my whole life is being monetized, and all I have to do is everything I like.

I should also mention that for the first time in memory, I like every class I'm taking. Homework is actually pleasant. It's as though the universe itself is turning in on itself. Can it last? Only time will tell. For right now, I'm going to keep loving life.

Here's the thing....

2010-10-01T23:02:00.003-06:00

...I hate those obligatory "I haven't posted in a long time so here is my oath of renewed regular postage" posts. First of all, they are usually lies. It sometimes lasts a little while, but be honest, you're going to find yourself writing another one in a few months. Second of all, they are always lame. It's a sorry excuse for a post. Sure you get the variation "recap of the last 6 months," and that's a little better, but really it's still a cop out.

So this is not one of those posts. I make no promises. I may or may not write again soon.

Let me tell you about this:

I saw The Social Network today. It's the movie about Facebook. I really liked it. It actually inspired me. I came home with a hankerin' to do some math and programming. I decided that it was time I really get serious about life. I don't want to be an average guy any longer. I want to be really good at whatever it is I do. If that means extra math work, then I'ma do it. If it means filling in the many gaps in my C++ class on my own time, I'ma do that too. I may not have my billion dollar idea yet, but you can bet I'll be ready for it when it comes.

If you're nice to me, I may even share the wealth.

float like a feather

2010-08-24T19:59:00.002-06:00

It all started with the trailer for the new Facebook movie "The Social Network."

If you've seen it there is no way you didn't notice the amazing choir rendition of "Creep." It is at once moving and disturbing, something few can accomplish, but Thom Yorke has mastered in his songwriting, and this choir has magnified. In all the countless versions of Creep that I've heard, none but maybe Damien Rice have done it justice. Now there is another.

I began looking into it and found that the performers are a Belgian women's choir, Scala and Kolacny Brothers. I too, thought it odd that a women's choir has the word Brothers in it's title, but a little looking told me that Scala is the choir and the Kolacny Brothers are the conductor and pianist. They have a number of rock and pop songs they have covered, and every one of them is fantastic. Here are a few.

Escape

2010-08-22T00:52:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I need a break from analytical thinking. From worrying. From regular concerns. Today was one of those days. Most of the day was physical labor, some for exercise, some for sport, some chores, and some to help a neighbor in need. Then I read a good book. Finally I made my retreat to the ultimate refuge: music. Tomorrow I will attend church services and will feel whole. Just in time for school to start again next week.

Patterns

2010-06-30T10:06:00.001-06:00

Life sometimes provides fascinating motifs. One expects patterns in mathematics. As one learns more math and how it applies to the natural world, one begins to see order in the chaos of the universe. Things like the natural log, the prevalence of sinusoidal functions, and the fact that two and two always and obstinately equals four, regardless of what objects you may be counting, are all indicative of said order. So when I see people carrying bagels in ziplock bags everywhere I go, with no apparent relevance to one another, I am nevertheless awed by nature’s display of uniformity.

Is it a sign? Maybe.

Will I change my shirt because of it? Probably.

Will I then see someone else wearing the same socks as me? Very likely.

Oh Mother Nature, you are such a tease!

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Now playing: Band of Skulls - Patterns
via FoxyTunes

Pee

2010-06-25T01:38:00.003-06:00

So Mogli fell asleep in the car on the way home tonight. Naturally, I carefully tucked him in when we got back and went about the business of getting to bed myself. About thirty minutes later I heard him get out of bed and walk down the hall and into my room. I assumed he needed to pee and was, as he often does, checking to see if he can get in our bed, and, upon hearing that he cannot, asking to be tucked in after he relieved himself. “I’m in hear bubby” I called to him. But then I heard the tell tale tinkling sound and guessed he would finish and climb in my bed and I would move him momentarily. Something about that tinkle just didn’t sound right though…

He was still standing at the scene when I walked in (but what he was doing can barely be described as standing). In front of him was a Spin magazine with Paramore on the cover that had previously been dropped there haphazardly. It–and the floor around it–was soaked in urine.

“What are you doing?”

Just an unfocused stare and another wobble in response.

*sigh* “Go get in bed bro.”

After another unfocused glance, he attempted to comply. He made it halfway down the hall before he forgot what he was doing and began wandering, ending up back by my side a moment later. My second attempt at sending him to bed only earned a quick circle, starting toward the door and coming back to where I was standing in a few uneven steps. I carried him to his bed, where he immediately resumed his deepest sleep without so much as a sigh to hint at his escapade.

I suppose we’ll never know if the magazine was just the first target he saw, the unfortunate bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if he has simply decided he doesn’t like Paramore. Regardless, I’ll be on high alert any time he gets up in the middle of the night from now on.

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Now playing: Paramore - Decode
via FoxyTunes

number 9... number 9...

2010-05-01T20:50:00.002-06:00

My brain, as I study for finals, break to work at a convenience store, and study some more, is beginning to feel like the Beatles track "Revolution 9."

By that I mean incoherent and nonsensical. By that I also mean awesome.

Today I learned to say "compere miso." I did not, however learn to spell it.

Capillary action is related to surface tension.

The foci are an equal distance from the center.

If you become naked... Hold that line!

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Now playing: The Beatles - Revolution 9
via FoxyTunes

To Those Whose Value(s)=Undefined

2010-04-29T23:37:00.004-06:00

You can muddy the clearest of waters

Blur the most beautiful view

Give me purity, you will corrupt it

The simplest phrase you misconstrue

The most lucid concept you will obscure

You cloud the sky, however blue

And all of this with nary a thought

Or any regard for truth

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Now playing: Incubus - Blood on the Ground
via FoxyTunes

Shots

2010-04-13T22:19:00.005-06:00

I recently mentioned several unposted posts. One of them chronicled the adventures of Mogli's 4th birthday extravaganza. It involved Chuck-e-Cheese, seven hundred some odd tickets and the cheap toys purchased with them, cake, ice cream, grandparents, and lots and lots of balloons.

Along with turning four comes a doctor checkup. Being that his mother is a nurse,not to mention he's already had his share of emergency visits, he isn't afraid of doctor's offices the way many children are. In fact I dare say he was excited. He has backed off on the growing thing, only in the 84th height percentile, down some 10% or so from last year. He was declared fit as a fiddle, and the doctor told him he could have his kindergarten shots if he wanted them. He told the doctor that he quite likes shots, and yes he would appreciate having them post haste. No sense waiting around to get sick when such a fun thing as shots are available, right? He came home and showed me the dots on his leg and was just as pleased as could be!

Well, I went to class, he visited Grammy, and by the time I got home he was singing a whole new tune. It went something like "you can't pick me up or put me down or make me go to bed or let me stay up or give me a hug or let me go or stay here or go in the other room and I can't hold still or move because my shots hurt me too much."

Maybe next time he'll think twice

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Now playing: Wilco - Shot in the Arm
via FoxyTunes before volunteering for early medical treatment.

Blue Funk

2010-04-08T01:15:00.003-06:00

I have a lot that I have been meaning to say. Several unfinished posts lie in my draft folder, awaiting finishing touches like pictures, links, or just a good edit. I just don't feel like doing it. That seems to be my default state right now. Have you ever been in a mood that can't be described? This one is like melancholy and contentment with a splash of nostalgia and a pinch of... something else. It's certainly not sad, but not especially happy either. All I really want to do is make some music, but when I try I just get lost in it and don't accomplish anything. So the last few days I've done a LOT of stuff. Things that have been on my to do list for days, weeks, and even months. I feel very accomplished, but still incomplete.

Maybe some sleep will help.

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Now playing: Norah Jones - The Long Day Is Over
via FoxyTunes

Pepto

2010-03-11T21:32:00.001-07:00

Let me just say it was a rough day....

But happy 311 day anyway!

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Now playing: 311 - 07.Creatures (For A While)
via FoxyTunes

Phantom of the Opera

2010-03-10T19:18:00.003-07:00

I've always liked the musical. It has everything: action and adventure, love and loss, mystery and intrigue, and great music. I learned quite recently that it is based on a book. Yes, I should have assumed as much, but I did not, and so was surprised when I saw it. That was a week ago. I just finished it this morning. It is amazing.

Gaston Lebroux writes the novel as an historian who has done a large amount of research in order at last to shed light on the whole of a great mystery--or rather several great mysteries that turn out to be one and the same. Take everything you know about the Opera Ghost and Christine Daae, and add an extra 5 layers of depth. (One for each cellar in the Paris Opera House in which the majority of the story takes place.) It's older English, translated from French, which lends beauty and character to the structure of the writing not found in our common language today. Due to this it is not a particularly easy read, but it is indeed a rich one. The tragedy of the story is especially expanded from that of the musical. He is uglier, more pitiful, and of a much more complex background. Meanwhile he is far more genius than Mr Webber gave him credit for, and not just when it comes to music. I found myself feeling great pity for him, despite the monstrous things he did, as did Christine and the Persian (a very important character in the book, omitted from the broadway production).

Too often, when you read the original work behind an adaptation, the latter deteriorates, sometimes so far that it's no longer enjoyable. In this case I love it more than ever. Consider this my recommendation to each of you to find a copy.

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Now playing: Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Music Of The Night
via FoxyTunes

Blood

2010-03-06T00:48:00.000-07:00

Blood? Blood. Crimson copper-smelling blood, his blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. And bits of sick!

Humanity's Greatest Achievment

2010-03-05T16:14:00.004-07:00

As it turns out all of humanity reached it's peak when this video was made in 1976. There is nowhere to go but down from here. If this is the quality entertainment brought about by communism, maybe I'll give it a try after all!

the tricks they play

2010-03-04T23:48:00.003-07:00

Have you ever been on the news? It's happened to me twice now; The Reporter and his trusty sidekick Cameraman hiding around a corner, waiting to ambush the next passerby with a barrage of questions asked so quickly and worded so craftily that you can't help but support they're story no matter what you really think. Then you spend the next part of your day thinking of hundreds of things you could have said that would have been a whole lot better. I tried to find the story so I could link to it, but I was unsuccessful. Too bad to, they got a great shot of Bryce and me crossing a street after our interview.

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Now playing: Ides of March - Vehicle
via FoxyTunes

Expansion

2010-02-09T22:06:00.001-07:00

Something strange has happened in the past few months. I've always enjoyed classical music, some more some less, but it's always been quite a passive enjoyment. My father frequently listens to various movie soundtracks while working away in his office. We used to blast the local classical station with the windows down in my high school parking lot, but that was just for the reaction of the other students. Once or twice we turned on the same station and narrated what we imagined the story of the current piece to be. It has never been a large part of my life though.

Last year we got the Twilight soundtrack. A few months ago we added New Moon. Both include some very lovely piano pieces. Muse's last album has a Chopin Nocturne as a song's outro, and Matthew Bellamy has incorporated classical piano into his songs on several occasions. That is where my craving began. It started with just piano, anything I could get my hands on, be it Rachmaninov, Beethoven, or even David Lanz. From there it has expanded. Last week my Mrs watched Pride and Prejudice while I did chemistry homework and I couldn't stop thinking about the music for days. I downloaded the soundtrack and gave it a number of spins over the subsequent days. I just can't get enough.

Never have I wished more that I could play the piano.

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Now playing: Various Artists - Dawn
By "Various Artists" they mean Jean-Yves Thibaudet
via FoxyTunes

I hate college kids

2010-02-04T23:09:00.005-07:00

They drive me crazy. There are 3 main breeds:

The Career Student--
These are the ones who take one or two classes per semester, often working in no particular direction, and who will likely never earn an actual degree. They do this firstly so they can utilize the school as a social realm, mingling with others of their kind, having never moved past the high school state of mind, and secondly so they can avoid any actual responsibility in the world. "I can't get a full time job, I'm in school!" is a common thing to hear from them. They are also more often than not loud, obnoxious, and greasy/foul smelling.

The College Conformist--
These are the ones who live in a strange paradoxical world where nothing is more important than individuality, and individuality means being and thinking exactly the same as the rest of the herd. It is from this group that you find the blind "activist" preaching peace with Mao's Little Red Book in one hand and the Communist Manifesto in the other and wearing a Che t-shirt and never even blinking at the irony. You're likely to hear them say something like "the right are a bunch of fascists because they shut down free speech; we need to shut down Fox News and talk radio." This is also the group that includes the indie rocker, for whom quality of music comes secondary to the attitude with which it was written. You will overhear this explanation from one of them: "My favorite band is The Pants That Go On Pink. I'm sure you've never heard of them, they're totally underground. I know about them cuz I'm in college. They recorded their album gathered around a hand held tape recorder, it was such an amazing artistic idea. They never actually learned how to play their instruments either, that's what makes them such brilliant musicians." Finally this is the group containing the nebulous drifter. This is the one who just goes where the wind takes them. Their favorite music is whatever happens to be on the top 20, they wear whatever the TV tells them to, and speak with all the currently hip colloquialisms. They will say "did you see what that celebrity said on the reality show last night? I wouldn't have a life if I couldn't watch other people pretend they were living their normal life in front of cameras. I need to go potty, can someone please hold my hand?"

The University Type--
These ones are the extremely arrogant type who do things like write in the school newspaper but can't spell, punctuate, or construct a proper sentence, let alone string two together coherently. Yet they are far smarter than the rest of humanity. They comment too frequently in class, but don't have enough genuine wit or wisdom to spit at. This is the group I'm particularly upset with today. Let me tell you why. My chemistry teacher is perhaps lacking in social skills and charisma, but he knows chemistry very well, and clearly loves it. He is very meticulous in writing down everything we need to know. Yep, it can get pretty boring, but it's better than him moving so quickly through the subject matter that no one can possibly keep up. Occasionally he'll write something down incorrectly, and send all the "smart" kids into a frenzy. Today the problem was that his periodic table gave the atomic mass for flourine as 18.99 and ours was an even 19.00. It was pretty easy to see, since each piece of the equation was .01 grams off. Yet they all went nuts. In his most condescending voice one asked "how could the two flourine molecules have an atomic mass of 37.9 g when flourine is exactly 19 g? 19x2 is 38." He went on to do it every time it happened through the entire class. I wanted to shake him and yell "He's not an idiot, he's just looking at a table that didn't round the way ours did! Think for yourself man, or are you only the self proclaimed smartest person in the universe when the answers are being written down on the white board? Good job, you know 2nd grade math, here's a sticker! Did it ever occur to you that the guy with the Master's degree and a decade of experience also knows how to add?"

They're idiots, the lot of them.

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Now playing: South - Loosen Your Hold

via FoxyTunes

At Semester's End

2009-12-11T22:48:00.004-07:00

There is something I hate.

It is that feeling at the end.

You want it to be over so badly, but you must endure.

The last push to the finish line.

I've been studying for some 8 hours.

And will do at least as much tomorrow.

The worst part is that it's all for just one class.

In the meantime, I've rediscovered Kasabian.

And found a great new Firefox extension, FoxyTunes.

Observe:

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Now playing: Kasabian - Reason Is Treason
via FoxyTunes

Census

2009-11-13T21:43:00.003-07:00

Not the over-reaching, unconstitutional kind we'll all be forced by our overgrown government to participate in next year, just curious who reads this. So if you don't mind leaving a quick comment I would appreciate it.

And don't worry, I won't even threaten to jail you if you opt out.

Awake

2009-11-08T23:04:00.001-07:00

...is not a word that should ever describe a three year old at 2300 hours. Nevertheless it does mine. He wants to sleep in my bed because Mommy's at work. When he sleeps in my bed however, no matter the distance between us initially, he invariably rolls over and proceeds to kick me in his sleep. He inherited that trait from his mother.

Often when he doesn't want to go to bed I will strike a bargain with him; if you lay quietly for ten minutes and don't fall asleep you can have the drink of water you've been asking for, for example. Well he just tried a bargain of his own: I lay down two minutes and if I'm still awake I can get in your bed! So I countered: You lay down and when you fall asleep if your still awake then you can get in my bed. He thought that was a great idea, and I haven't heard a peep since.

And Another V

2009-11-07T12:06:00.003-07:00

I'Ve been worried for some time now. The kind of worry that you bury deep down and don't think about, under the premise that it will just stop. Then something sparks a memory and it drowns you again...

Some two years ago the In-Laws introduced me to the greatest teleVision program of all time: Lost. I became obsessed. I don't watch much TV, but when the right show comes along I tend to View it Voraciously with a Vim and Vigor I can't Very well eVade. I become Voracious in appetite and ViVacious in fan hood, Visiting Virtual Vestiges of Veneration and Vesting in Various Volitionary actiVities indicatiVe of my Vehemence.

So to what do I owe my worry? The next season of Lost is the last, and I haVe had nothing to replace it with when it's oVer.

Until now.

This week was the Virgin Voyage of a new Vessel Vying for my Virulent deVotion, Vis-aVis:

V

V

2009-11-05T23:30:00.000-07:00

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot;
I can think of no reason the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

A revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.

coming to you like a rope in a chain store

2009-09-26T15:58:00.003-06:00

I like to make stuff. I can't draw but I love to take pictures. Not of people though. At least not when they're posing. That turns it into a chore. I like to create songs. It's one of my favorite pass time activities. I do wish I could remember all the songs I've made up over the years. Like that one that came to me in a dream so clearly that I awoke at 2 AM and started playing it with barely a thought. That song was mega awesome, but doomed to be nothing but a sleepy time memory. I tell Mogli stories at night. Often they are about my grandfather's many and varied adventures. About equally as often they are completely fabricated, usually loosely based on a subject or concept he chooses and I expand upon as I kneel bedside. I know it's a success if there are no off topic side notes. Actually I usually know before it gets to that point. From time to time I'll think I'm doing something great with the chosen material, a spaceman who rather unexpectedly and inexplicably meets a bear fishing for example, only to be unexpectedly and inexplicably interupted with a question about why no one else's race car is as fast as his.

I'm going to write a book.

Prog's That Way

2009-09-17T23:12:00.003-06:00

The new Muse album came out this week. I bought it on day one, of course. Having heard it before hand on their web site, I knew that I liked it. I also knew that there are some very proggy moments that make me say "huh?" Yes, it's true that they drew a great deal of inspiration from Queen for the music and George Orwell's 1984 for the lyrics. It's also true though that it is refreshingly original, politically poignant, and, in a word, terrific.

Since it's release two days ago it's pretty much all I've listened to. That and Glenn Beck. Imagine my delight when the latter used a half hour of his show time talking about one of his favorite bands: Muse. He even played a track, United States of Eurasia, which I have previously mentioned. He talked about the Libertarian nature of the lyrics and how perfectly in touch they are, the great music, and the amazing creativity behind it. At the end of the break he encouraged everyone to buy it. After the commercial he informed us that Muse's legal representation had just contacted him asking him to retract his endorsement, which I think is hilarious. Update: As it turns out they didn't really call Glenn, it was just a poorly delivered joke. Either way though, it's a funny thought.

I confess the chorus of "The Resistance" is still a little too much for me, but otherwise I am in love with the album, especially "Undisclosed Desires," where they decided to get all hip hop. My favorite moment on the album though has to be the last 30 seconds of "Unnatural Selection" when they kick it in to gear and rock like they mean it. To quote Glenn, it's "brilliant."

CFR 2K9

2009-09-07T19:14:00.007-06:00

This is a story. I met Mrs Candid in May. We became serious rather quickly, attending one another's family functions and so forth within weeks. Her mother's family gets together the first Sunday of each month for dinner. They also have a family reunion every year over Labor Day weekend. July and August of that first year it seemed to me that was all they talked about. By the time the reunion came around we had only been dating for just over 3 months, I didn't feel very comfortable yet even at the monthly dinner, and was quite intimidated by the thought of attending this reunion, so I didn't go. You would have thought I'd done something truly horrendous, like murdered the family dog.

I cannot express in writ what a big deal this weekend is. Family members who may as well be complete strangers the rest of the year all converge on this summer cow pasture in south west Wyoming, just like they have done for some 20 years. The trailers, tents, and tables are always in the same places; the meals are always the same; the activities don't change by any significant degree. Violation of any of these traditions is not taken lightly, punished by all but disowning the perpetrator. Like Christmas, the moment it ends the countdown to next year begins. This event is not to be taken lightly!

Fortunately I somehow managed to earn forgiveness for my truancy, and we were married the subsequent March. Leading up to the next reunion though I still had some misgivings.A candid conversation with my father-in-law one evening eased my concerns a great deal, and I went into my Labor Day adventure with only a little apprehension left. Still though, I couldn't understand why it was such a big deal to camp for a few days in an old cow pasture.

Then I got there.

A little background now. The reunion happens in a field that a great uncle leases for his cows, adjacent to the old family home and property built and developed under the homestead act around the turn of the century by Great Grandpa. It was lost in the early 30's due to financial troubles. It is also less than 15 miles from a youth camp where my family used to do reunions and many of my fondest childhood memories were made. In fact, it feels almost like it was more than a coincidence that we went somewhere so close.

I cannot express in writ how great this weekend is. My first experience was indeed overwhelming, but at the same time fantastic. I learned the history, went with Mogli on a few bear hunts, threw rocks in the river, and just relaxed. This year was even better. I was working up there anyhow, so I got there quite early, one of the first to arrive. I went with Grandpa and Grandma to a dinner where I saw an old friend who lives up that way. I even got a special historic tour of the region. The weekend passed quite quickly, but we found time to go to a nearby lake where my family always went when we were up there, but hers didn't even know about. I found a three point white tail shed. Stayed up to all hours of the morning and played my first ever complete game of Phase 10 (I've previously never made it passed Phase 5 before people got bored). Caught frogs and chased squirrels with Mogli and a couple cousins. Made a little ground figuring out who everyone is (I have no hope of ever really getting it straight). And of course went on a few bear hunts and threw LOTS of rocks in the river!

As I was packing things up to head home I was making a list of what to bring next year, and yes, beginning to count the days until next year.

I still don't, and likely never will, fully comprehend what makes this reunion such an extraordinary ordeal to the In-Law family, but I will say that I look forward to it almost as much as they do.

Almost.

Wish You Were Here

2009-08-30T16:44:00.003-06:00

The Pink Floyd one, not the Incubus one. I really like that song. I think every band I've ever liked in the history of music has covered it. And why not? It's a great tune.

Mrs Candid, RN

2009-08-20T22:12:00.005-06:00

That's right folks, she is finished! Graduation was a week ago, and the party a couple of days later. It's been a long and difficult couple years, evidence that she is a much better person than I (as though any evidence was necessary). So my wife, Mrs. Nightingale herself, will soon be taking care of patients and doing all the nursey things that make me feel a little queasy. Yet more of the aforementioned unnecessary evidence.

Congratulations Honey. I'm really proud of you. I love you.

US of E

2009-08-08T14:24:00.005-06:00

As I mentioned the other day, I have been desperately searching for something new on the music front of late. Seemingly as a response Muse has released two singles for the upcoming album "The Resistance." Not only is it delightfully refreshing musically, but it's all "take the power back" and "shoot down the black helicopters" in a way only Muse can pull off. The radio single, "Uprising," is not exactly groundbreaking for them, but it's a solid tune none the less, and I can't get enough of it. Just today I heard the other single they've released on their website's media player. "United States of Eurasia" is everything the title suggests as far as paranoia and conspiracy. It's like Coast to Coast AM set to a hybrid between Queen and the "Pride and Prejudice" soundtrack. I know, it's hard to imagine, but if you can find it or care to join the Muse fan club I insist you check it out.

P.S. Here's a picture from the first time I saw them. It was in 2004 on the side stage at The Venue. There were like 200 people there. It was amazing.

Night Driving

2009-08-05T22:40:00.001-06:00

One of the simplest pleasures of life. I used to do it when I was mad. I used to do it when I was depressed. I used to do it when I was happy, excited, or just wanted to think. Still one of my favorite scenes is the spread of city lights before me. Music takes on a whole new quality when it is the soundtrack to a night drive. Some night drives of particular significance:

The trip to Zak's cabin. We listened to Coldplay and Radiohead. It was the last time we were all together before adult life began to take hold. I look at it as a major transition.
A weekend with two night drives: one with and one without a certain girlfriend. I realized how much happier I was without her, and asserted my freedom from her grasp shortly thereafter.
Crossing through the desert with my brother. He likely doesn't remember it, but it was one of the major events that turned us from brothers to friends in my eyes.
Driving up to perform a few songs on the radio. This was actually the very early morning, but I count it. I stayed up for something like 30 hours that day, not only setting a record for consecutive waking hours, but laughing harder than any other event that readily comes to mind.

The other day I enjoyed a delightful night drive. My employment took me to a neighboring state, and having early morning appointments the following day it was imperative I head home rather than booking a hotel. I listened to Radiohead and Coldplay the entire drive, songs like "How to Disappear Completely" and "Bigger Stronger." I had the windows down to enjoy the smell of cool night air. I saw several amazing shooting stars, the kind you could never hope for in the city. At one point my headlights fell on some creature hiding in the brush alongside the highway waiting for a chance to dart across and it's eyes were suddenly ablaze with some inward flame. I worked 16 hours that day, but contrary to expectations didn't feel at all sleepy. I was both invigorated and relaxed, and order was restored to life.

I need to take more night drives.

Led Zeppelin...

2009-08-03T22:14:00.003-06:00

...has been my favorite band since about age 12. Sure I have other favorite bands that have topped them, but those first few years created a permanent place in my heart. The first cd I ever owned was their fourth album. I listened to it over and over and over again. I did the same with every other album they have. I have probably watched "The Song Remains the Same" more than any other movie, excepting "Cars" with Mogli. During my early teens I had a full blown obsession. I learned how to play guitar almost exclusively on Zeppelin songs. I used to could listen to all 26 minutes and 52 seconds of live "Dazed and Confused" without ever losing interest. I loved them, and nothing has ever quite been the same since.

My musical adventures have taken me far and wide over the years. Stone Temple Pilots, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Radiohead, Coldplay, Muse, and countless others. I purchased Radiohead's "OK Computer" and "Kid A" on the same day, and listened to them both so much you'd think I would have worn the cds right through. When I got "Parachutes" I literally listened to it repeatedly for a bare minimum of 3 hours a day every day for a month. "Absolution" simply blew me away with it's powerful riffs, haunting melodies, and astounding creativity.

It's been a very long time since I've felt that way about a new band. There have been plenty that I liked, and some that I really liked, but nothing that has really got me going. This music famine has got to end.

My Sister

2009-08-03T21:46:00.003-06:00

Eva. She has inspired me on many occasions. It is to her I owe my first email address, and by extension my introduction to the joys of instant messaging. After reading her blog for several years I created my own. Her cassette tape of Weezer's Blue album was the first music I ever loved just because I loved it. On one long trip to see family in a distant town I "borrowed" it and sat in the rear facing back seat of the family station wagon listening through it's entirety, from side A to side B and back again. The experience shaped much of my later life. She it was who first dubbed me "Foo Foo," after the little bunny who hopped through the forest, bopping field mice on the head. That name was morphed over time into things like "Frugey," and "Foph," which I am occasionally called by other siblings to this day. In the midst of that nick name's great success she coined another, simpler one: "Boy." And thus I have been known for the past ten plus years. So much of my life in fact that it is as familiar as my own given name. Indeed, I would not be remotely the same person today were it not for Dear Sister's influence.

Thank you Sister.

The Hike

2009-07-13T21:55:00.003-06:00

There is a lovely set of mountains near my home. They are one of the best kept secrets in the area, most people only think of the larger mountains across the valley. Mrs Candid was away tonight at a screening for the new Harry Potter movie she was lucky enough to acquire a seat in. That meant it was just Mogli and me. We considered several activities for our evening of fun. The water park, but his right arm is currently broken and casted. The playground, but we do that all the time. MarioKart, but I didn't really want to be in the house. And thus it was decided that we would go on a bear hunt. What a bear hunt it was!

The higher elevation was gloriously cool, the foliage wonderfully bright and green, the air delightfully fresh and clean. We embarked on a rather wide trail along the eastern slope, one that I've ventured down only a short way previously. Considering the width, it shouldn't have surprised me to find not one, not two, but five vehicles that had tried driving, only to slide off the edge and down various embankments and be abondoned with no hope of retrieval. Mogli was especially excited about this, finding it exceedingly amusing to toss rocks down on top of them. Well, one of them, the rest were too far for his feeble left handed pitches to reach.

After quite a trip for such a small hiker, much more than I expected from him, especially without him begging me to carry him, I finally told him we needed to go back so we didn't get stuck after the sun went to sleep and the wild animals got us. He wasn't impressed. He just kept going and saying "there's a waterfall this way, we have to find it!" Unable to stop him, I dained to follow a while, hoping he really would get tired of the journey and head for home. Imagine my surprise when we came over a rise and heard the sound of running water. This of course encouraged him and he sped forward, eventually reaching a place where the path, quite narrow by now, reached a small stream with several waterfalls. We dipped our sticks in the water and splashed rocks around for a few minutes before turning back at last. The entire way home he continually reminded me that he was right and I was wrong: "I tell you there was a waterfall! You tell me no, but I tell you!"

Now for the true highlight of the trip. Closer to the trailhead, but still far enough to feel quite distant, I heard the last words I ever wanted to hear in such a situation: "I need to go poop." I confess a moment of panic as I searched the surrounding forest in vain for a commode or outhouse of any condition or variety that I knew would not be found. In fact, even were we at the car already it would have been at least twenty minutes to the nearest, and that in the opposite direction from home. I forced myself to be calm and helped him find a spot off the trail where he could heed nature's call. He had been saying all afternoon that he wasn't wearing underwear because Grammy didn't change him out of his pullup after the afternoon nap. I foolishly assumed that meant he was still in said pullup. For a moment I even considered letting him go and dealing with it when we got home, but quickly realized that would make the homeward voyage quite miserable for the both of us, and the pullup likely wouldn't contain the mess so well anyway. Either way it turned out he was being quite literal when he said he wasn't wearing any underwears; he had apparently ditched the pullup sometime between spraying the kitchen floor with furniture polish so the house would smell good and sliding around on the freshly polished floor. To make the occasion a little extra special, we had had chimichangas for dinner. Chimichangas give Mogli diarrhea. No underwears. No toilet. And you guessed it, no toilet paper. I cleaned him up with leaves. Yes, leaves. Some parts of the trail had these great big plants with massive leaves. Enormous, wonderful leaves. This part of the trail had little tiny leaves.

It was one of the worste experiences of my life.

But on the way down the canyon we saw 5 deer!

Strawberry

2009-04-22T23:55:00.007-06:00

Check this bad boy out:

That is one beastly strawberry. It must have come from some amazing strawberry fields. To find it's equal, one would likely have to search the strawberry fields forever.

I recently heard that the Beatles box set is supposed to come out this fall. As I understood it is to be all of their studio albums plus some other goodies. I love the Beatles, but don't actually own much of their music, and this will be the perfect chance to remedy that situation. Soon I will be basking in the aural pleasure of Beatle-mania like I've never basked before.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy that mighty, mighty berry.

Red Skelton

2009-04-13T21:39:00.003-06:00

I remember as a lad watching old Red Skelton shows with my pops and laughing uncontrollably. They don't make comedians like they used to. This here is another side of Red. Comedy isn't the only thing that's degraded since the good ole days...

Song Of The Day

2009-03-23T19:43:00.005-06:00

Today's song is "Underground" by Ben Folds Five. I made this particular selection because Mogli has been singing it continuously the last few days:

Need I say more?

Mad

2009-03-23T15:54:00.005-06:00

I'm not the angry type. Although I recently made a list of pet peeves, it was really just for fun. Truth be told, the last time I remember really losing my temper was sometime during senior year when David Deppe tried to strangle me. Even then it lasted no more than a few seconds: it's David Deppe, what am I going to do, punch him? I suppose I was pretty irate at Zach Probst one time, when he disappeared. I had calmed down by the time he came back though. The point is, I'm not very extreme when it comes to temper. I take after my mother in that way. When it comes up she always conjures up some event when her rage was palpable and all in her presence quivered in fear, but we all know she's exaggerating. If you are fortunate enough to know my mother you are probably chuckling at the very thought, if not laughing aloud. Ours is a very chill family.

Today though, I'm just pissed right off.

Mogli Is Now This Many

2009-03-18T15:55:00.006-06:00

Mogli is now this many:

Hard to believe, right? I can barely do it. He pretty much had the coolest birthday ever. While I was busy quitting my job to move on to a better one, his Mommy took him to the aquarium with a cousin. They saw sea horses and alligators and an octopus. Afterwards they headed to McDonalds, where I joined them and Mogli got a sweet Spider Man toy. After running home for a few minutes we headed over to the pool where he wore himself out quite thoroughly in his efforts to prove that he is not afraid of anything. His Batman party was also a success. He was delighted by all the attention, and the presents and cake too. Grandmas, Grandpas, aunts, uncles, and cousins came over and he took LOTS of pictures of soon-to-be-Aunt Melly. He went to bed happy, and went to sleep about the time his head hit the pillow. So did we.

Doctor

2009-03-12T20:44:00.002-06:00

I remember watching Doogie Howser M.D. as a kid. I don't remember any specifics, except one time he was doing an autopsy on a mummy alone in a dark room and he thought it came to life. Or something like that. Last summer I was introduced to Dr Horrible, and it instantly became one of my favorite things ever. To be honest I didn't even realize that Neil Patrick Harris, who plays Dr Horrible, was also Dr Howser, until someone else mentioned it. The other day I stumbled on this and it made me think "Neil Patrick Harris is funny." To back that up, there is this, and while you're at it, all of this.

That's all for today.

Pets

2009-03-07T10:21:00.003-07:00

In a recent job interview I was asked what my pet peeves are. I found myself quite unprepared for this inquiry, and kind of stumbled around while I thought of something that makes me mad. Truth be told, I'm not often angry, so it was a more difficult task than it sounds. Just to be sure I never run into that problem again, I've compiled a respectable list of things that tick me off. They are as follows:

People who hold up the checkout line while they count and re-count their change, then try to stuff it into an already overstuffed wallet.
When someone leaves their turn signal on for miles.
Brightly colored leggings (except on wee little girls, then it's just funny).
People I've known for long periods of time who forget my name.
When people park in handicapped or no parking areas because they're "just running in really quick."
Loud public cell phone talkers.
Public breast feeding.
People in the 20 Items Or Less lane with over 20 items.
People who, upon hearing the name "Joe," insist on making the tired old "Joe Mama" joke.
When someone pees on the seat.
Poor usage of the English language.
Published or otherwise professional writing, like school newspapers (Globe) or corporate memos, that fall under the last category. These count as double, and are what I eventually cited in the interview.
Utah County drivers.
Crooked mohawks.
Straight or pegged leg jeans.
People who insist there's something wrong with a product or service and they deserve a discount. (Excluding instances where there really is something wrong and the person goes about it in a polite way)
Liars
People who wear, for example, Led Zeppelin t-shirts, but don't really listen to Led Zeppelin.
Boys who wear girl pants.
People who mumble under their breath, only to get angry when they can't be understood and are asked to repeat their mumble.
When someone enters a store with muddy shoes, having made no attempt to clean said shoes.
People who try to talk on the phone and do something else... at the expense of the something else.

I could probably go on, but this will have to suffice for the time being. I'm all mad just thinking about all of it.

Conceited

2009-02-27T21:44:00.005-07:00

SLCC Jazz Band had their first concert of the semester tonight. I am a part of said ensemble. We played several Miles Davis pieces, a few Jobim, Duke, Dizzy, and several others. Good times were had by all.

This semester I've had a difficult time finding my groove. As it's been a few years since I've really played I have lost my lip a great deal, and was pretty rusty in general. The result has been that I've been timid in my playing, my solos have been lack luster at best, and my arrogant self has been lost in some sort of haze.

Until tonight.

Something about being in front of an audience does wonders for me. Suddenly it didn't matter that the other trumpet player's range is half an octave higher than mine, or that most of the rhythm section are expert in the ways of chordal voicing and improvisation. The only important thing was that I was there and everyone got to listen to me play, just like it used to be.

That's right folks, ol' Cuppa Joe is back and cocky as ever.

Road Trip Blues

2009-02-25T09:13:00.004-07:00

Meet Mogli:

He's a delight. Normally quite amiable and fun.

Normally.

Last week we took a short road trip to Ogden. Mind you, Mogli is potty training. Without consideration to the circumstances we allowed him two drinks shortly before we left. Everyone see where this is going?

Just at the on ramp he started yelling at the top of his lungs "I needs to go pee!!!" So the very next exit we were stopped at a gas station. Not ten minutes after getting back on the road the yells began again. And again. And again. One time we couldn't stop soon enough, and he peed just a little in his pants. Long story short, it took us easily twice as long to get to Ogden as it normally would, and he was stuck sitting in his own urine.

When we got there we ran into another convenience store. I was running as quick as I could, and as I frantically searched for the restroom, I felt my arm get warm and start dripping. Yep, I was peed on. The rest of the trip there were two urine soaked gentlemen.

Isn't parenthood fun?

The Visitor

2009-02-18T21:13:00.003-07:00

We had just come home from the gym. A fire had broken out nearby, and a thick black cloud hung over the area. Unable to see what was burning, we came inside to get away from the cold, smoke filled air and blaring sirens. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary; the mess was just my homework still scattered on the floor around the desk. We were chatting about nothing in particular when it happened. My eyes were drawn to the movement, and the rush of adrenaline from the surprise surged through me...

Several hours later we cautiously walked back into the apartment. She had vacated almost immediately, while I stayed around waiting for the authorities. After they had come and gone I had joined her at Pike Place, attempting to reassure her that all was well. Now, as she stood apprehensively by the door, I quickly walked through every room to be sure we were alone. The maintenance crew had been given a priority work order to fix up the breach, but that wouldn't be done until tomorrow at the earliest, so the feeling of vulnerability was lingering, however hard I willed it away. I gave the all clear and she came all the way in, still glancing nervously into every corner...

All we can do now is wait. Hope that the sounds don't come back. Try to sleep through the night without letting it get into our heads. Pray that it's only us in here. And that it stays that way...

Miles

2009-02-13T20:05:00.001-07:00

If that's not cool, nothing is.

Stick it to em Jason

2009-02-11T09:50:00.003-07:00

Mr. Speaker, I rise to give voice to the need to cut the size and scope of government. While the rhetoric and calls for increased spending continue to escalate, let us also remember it is our duty and obligation to do more with less.

Over the past 12 years, annual Federal spending has more than doubled, exceeding $3.1 trillion. Since January 2007, our government has added an average of $2.8 billion per day to our national debt. If deficit spending were the way to prosperity, our economy would be booming.

We are more than $10 trillion in debt and there is no end in sight. Let us remember it is not the government's money we talk about and spend, it is the American people's money. And we cannot afford to continue to run this government on a credit card. We're going to have to do more with less, and that means finding ways to cut government spending.

-Rep Jason Chaffetz, Jan 13 2009 On the House floor, 111th Congress

Read more at http://chaffetz.house.gov/legis/index.shtml

Finally, a politician that gets it. Let's hope he stays strong.

The Mav

2009-02-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

I am now your Adventure Guide. Come to me with all your convenience store adventure needs, and I will guide you.

A Little Flavor

2009-02-09T11:08:00.001-07:00

Searching for a new job isn't fun. I know, I know, most people can think of nothing better than soliciting random managers and HR reps with "will work 4 $$" signs, but after a while it gets dull.

Okay! Okay! We all get the point! I'd rather hold signs in protest. Here are some examples:

Now tape these bad boys to some sticks and we've got ourselves a picket line!

Chicken

2009-02-05T22:05:00.001-07:00

I fried some chicken today. It was damn good chicken. My mashed potatoes turned out a bit too lumpy for my liking, but then I started writing a song.

It Starts...

2009-02-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

Here I am.